When a man and woman decides to get married it is an important decision. The more mature the couple is the more they realize how important this step is. When couples are young many are more concerned about the actual ceremony than what is going to happen afterward. Subjects that will make a huge impact on day to day life are not discussed beforehand oftentimes. If they are, the discussion is not as in depth as it needs to be. One of the subjects of discussion should be religion, especially if the bride and groom come from different religious backgrounds.
If both are Christian, it might be suggested or required by the pastor that they have at least a couple of Christian counseling sessions before they marry. This is an opportunity for the bride and groom to address issues like:
- Values
- Romance
- Children
- Money
- Communication
There is not a lot that can be addressed in two marriage counseling sessions; however, scratching the surface will determine whether or not more counseling is necessary, or which areas will need work in the relationship. The pastor is qualified to counsel couples with regard to what the bible teaches about the Christian family. Christian marriage counseling is not meant to handle serious psychological issues unless the pastor has a degree in psychology or psychiatry.
In the sessions the minister will quote scriptures such as I Corinthians 13:7-13 on love, or Ephesians 5:25 where husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church. If one of the partners are not baptized, he or she may be encouraged to do so. If one has no church home they will be invited to join as well. Couples may hesitate to talk about taboo subjects with their pastor, although this is the place where questions should be addressed.
Many couples want to know if certain romantic acts are acceptable from a Christian perspective. An experienced pastor may understand the discomfort involved with this type of dialogue and open the subject themselves. They will then follow up with a scripture to support the answer. Money is another sensitive subject. After all, money and infidelity are the top two reasons for divorce. Most people don’t realize the extent to which money matters can disrupt a relationship.
After a few sessions the pastor is ready to marry the couple with his or her blessings. There is generally no fee to have the wedding in the church for members and a small fee of around $50 for non-members. The fee is about the same if the minister has to travel to the wedding site.
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